Dear stalkers 7

Why do I get stalkers?  I am that interesting weird unusual or do I have a post-it note stuck on me that says “stalk me”?

I’ve been stalked before, more than once. This time I think it’s over. You see I have routines as a Mum, I can’t just not take Jen to primary school because of that man watching me. My house, despite being in a city, backs on to fields and a lovely view. Great, unless you’ve got an unwanted friend. Let me give him a fake name.  Carl.

Each morning Carl is there, waiting, standing by a gateway between 2 fields,  looking directly towards my home, waiting,  checking his watch. I run at my  car, avoiding eye contact,  and lock the car doors when my hounds and little lad are in the car. I want to walk,  I didn’t feel safe walking, knowing I’m being watched. Since last spring or summer this has been going on.  Since I got Freya, and it only got worse when I re homed cheeky little Doris. Carl likes dogs, too much.


Salukis = graceful beauty

When I first met him he jumped out of a hedge at us, no I’m not exaggerating here, he just appeared and started talking to Jen so I backed away with my sons and Freya. I could tell straight away he had a mental disability of some sort so I didn’t react as I would have it was any other man. Someone else would have been immediately told to never talk to my kids or come near us again. I didn’t realise that trying to remain calmer as I recognised he was different would be seen by Carl as an invitation to keep doing these things.
On one occasion I saw him watching me so I went home a non logical way, sort of zigzagging down footpaths to throw him off. I didn’t want him to see which door I was going in to, I did a loop so I went past my house and doubled back,  he was waiting 5 houses down for me. That was scary. I had to run at my house and locked both doors. Where I live is a dead end… The only reason he was there was to follow me, watch me, to tell me to feed my dogs and other random blunt small talk.

He just keeps getting closer and closer. He stares at my bedroom window,  presumably to see when the lights go off and work out when I might be leaving home.  Several days in the last month I felt I couldn’t walk the dogs, poor things were only going out at school o’clock and even that was via car.



Well on Wednesday this week I’d had enough! I had driven Jen to school, with Carl’s stare locked on to the car as I left home.  When I got back he was closer than normal, completely in my car mirrors, definitely looking at me. As I turn the engine off he starts moving closer, walking towards Freya, Doris and I. I ran, locking the car by remote as I ran. Straight to my door, it’s not like he doesn’t know which house is mine anymore is it?

I knew he lived up hill from me as he had told me on one of the many times he had followed me. I grabbed my phone whilst locking myself indoors and Google Mapped.  I got the number of a local care home, and phoned up in a bit of a panic.  I asked if they knew “Carl” before I said too much, I had indeed guessed his address right and all my concern and stress fell out like verbal diarrhoea. I just let it go. The poor lady on the phone was unsure how to help but fully listened as I explain I am not just watched, but followed, very closely indeed. Close enough to know if I am wearing perfume… that close. I think the only reason I hadn’t kicked him in the tackle and run away is his disability.  But he was making me feel trapped and freaked out.

The manager phoned back.  Handled it brilliantly and didn’t try to fob me off. I had refrained from using the word stalker,  I didn’t want to call a disabled man that, but the manager said stalking first. That gave me freedom to speak almost. Why do I find it hard to criticise a disabled or different person even when they’ve crossed the line so many times? They say he’s now being monitored by them and he’s banned from approaching strangers with dogs now. If they hear of it again it’s police.


Fingers crossed for no more drama.

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