As some of my readers know, I have big phobias. Complicated phobias. Phobias that overlap and make lots of things very hard for me, almost impossible in some situations. But today sod you medical phobia, I was stronger than you today. I’ve been seeing a therapist weekly for months now, and sometimes I think “What is the point?” as I leave in tears or shakey or angry. Sometimes it feels like I am going backwards not forwards fixing these phobias and flashbacks and nightmares and well, you know!
Today has been one of those bad days, things getting on my nerves, some bad news and money worries. On the way to school this morning it was dry as I walked out of the front door but chucking it down by the time I’d got my cycle from the garage. I pedal fast with Jen but the rain was right in our faces, and so was the wind. Then it stopped once I got him inside the classroom! Typical eh?Then I came home and did some laundry. All seemed OK until I took the items out of the washer. Everything had brown powdery marks on them like someone had washed it in cocoa powder. I’ve no idea why this keeps happening every few washes recently. Then I tried to use the toaster, but it failed. Was plugged in and turned on, put the bread in and pushed button, nothing! […]
Christmas is like Marmite, but I can’t decide if I love or hate it. On the love side I’m in love with the almost romantic idea of Christmas, family being together. Children getting presents, adults eating posh food and falling asleep during the Queen’s speech… advent calendars and decorated trees. Does all sound lovely….But in reality, I suck at Crimbo. I’ve no idea how to make it feel like Christmas anymore. Everything has got so commercial, spend spend SPEND. Kids all bragging on end of term about whose parents spent the most, and how big their tree is, and that their uncle Steve always gives them £30 in his card. Where is the love? Personally I struggle and we try really hard to afford nice things for the boys. This year by “couponing” we got D something on the top of his Xmas wish list (ransom note). It’s a Lego train […]
Three weeks today until Australia, I am getting all nervous, excited, I cry, then I’m happy. I’m an emotional wreck! I’ve got suitcases but still need travel money, insurance, and lots of little things. Felt pretty good as I bought 3 mini skirts yesterday ready for my amazing holiday… suncream a few days ago too. A week ago I was told I won the ITV Daybreak Down Under Competition. I knew I would get informed that week, before Friday, and was told to be near my phone between 6 and 8.30am as I might get called whilst live on air. By 10am on Friday, nothing… I’d lost hope, I was a right grumpy moo. Had been to the dentist for more bad news, then popped into work to say hello to my colleague. Needed to buy shampoo, so did that and Jenny ran away in a shopping center… I was […]