What a day

As I write now I’m sat on a travelodge bed in Chichester.

Yesterday morning I was told my Nan had had a stroke, was ok and at a hospital. That she would be there for a fortnight or so following on from the stroke for speech therapy and mobility help.

Today I was texting with my sister and she said she just spoken to hospital and they said to her was 50/50 if she lives or dies. A few mins later my mother phones, managed about 1 minute before she was in tears and her partner was on phone, she’s unconscious and chances are less.

I had a bit of cry, bit of denial, pull yourself together Julie nans as tough as old boots, she’s not dying. Then right back to panic, my nans dying. I then calmly pack a days Clothing for boys, Hubby and me and toothbrushes then make up the new pets hutch as I couldn’t leave Dotty in the garden in the run overnight.

Hubby and kids will drive home Tommorow, I’m not sure what I’ll do. I might just stay and sit in hospital, but I’m not sure what good it will do.

Doctors and nurses were not talking to us much, except to say my kids shouldn’t really be here…. well nan would have said otherwise as my eldest held Gramps hand and was a great comfort to my Gramps when he lay dying in a hospice and my nan has often said that he was telling her how grateful he was to see D that last time. So I’m sorry nurses, but my sons were coming in.

Nan was non responsive to me and the boys, just laid pretty still on the bed, save a few twitches. Was horrible. Really heartbreaking, whilst I know there is technically hope, it doesn’t look like there is any hope. I can’t do anything, I can’t say anything. What do you do?

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