D had a Meltdown 6

For a long time I’ve been saying D is special and I suspect Aspergers or something related to it? I’m no doctor though. But there is definitely something odd, something un-average.

He’s charming, super smart and obsessed by maths and Lego but at times he just flips and is like a disruptive hurricane of rage and hate that you can not even communicate with.

Today for the first time in months, I think the first time this year actually, I went round someones house for tea.
It should have been lunch but I was running late. It was nice for a while. Me and friend were chatting grown up things whilst drinking tea and all our kids were playing nicely on a Kinect doing bowling together, for a short time anyway it was nice! Then D suddenly flipped like he does at home, in front of another grown up. Whilst it’s embarrassing, it was also strangely liberating that someone else saw and heard him change. It’s not just in my imagination!!

He has what I can only describe as an evil streak, he speaks differently with a deeper and sinister voice, he moves differently (faster and twitchy), he doesn’t even feel like my son when he’s like that. I call it “Evil D” almost like a separate person, you just can’t get through to the real D at all when he’s Evil D. You need to walk away, leave him to rant and swear and throw or kick stuff and grunt and say his hateful threatening things alone. When he’s let it out and been isolated he runs out of steam and he suddenly resets. Like turning a computer off and waiting for it to reboot after glitches.

Just like that, he’s back. The voice goes back to the normal cheeky child voice, facial expressions are nicer, more gentle, and the whole atmosphere in the room changes. My friend agrees, D is back, and that his voice has changed pitch.

Now my friend has seen this and acknowledged this, it means it is real! It’s not something my own mental health issues have allowed me to imagine – there genuinely is a split personality.

Normal D – cheeky, sarcastic but in a nice way, funny, genius, smiles and plays jokes. Chilled body language, very expressive face (like myself!), and just a normal lad. Very smart, Slots of random but geeky questions. I can hug him, talk to him and I love normal D lots and lots.

Evil D – stamps, threatens violence towards Jen or myself, acts a lower intelligence, can’t be reasoned with and is down right scary. When he’s like this he deliberately “triggers” my mental health issues. I’m not saying exactly what, but certain things he does, certain noises, over and over, it can reduce me, within minutes, to covering my ears, rocking backwards and forwards, crying and muttering “Make it stop make it stop make it stop…” over and over again. This is not an accidental noise, it’s very deliberate, and he seems to enjoy doing this to me, and sometimes laughs at what he does to me. Anything you say further enrages him, best to not speak. I hate Evil D, passionately.

When I explained this behaviour, and my feelings about it, a doctor declared I was crazy and a possible risk to my own children, especially D.
D does not flip like this in front of his father, or doctors. It’s normally all aimed at me and Jen, mainly me. It is an awful thing to be told you made things up, when it’s not made up.

Today D was scary, aggressive, threatening his brother and I, and being verbally abusive towards my friends children. Jen punched his brother back today, self defence. I understand Jen’s reaction, but its not helpful. It just means the evil phase lasts even longer.

Does anyone have experience of a child like this? What on earth do I do to control these personality shifts? How do other parents cope with disruptive aggressive children? What is wrong?

I’ve begged the doctors and social workers for help but they just do not believe that he does these things. I can’t even convince his father that he does this, but Jen and I are genuinely frightened by the mood swings.
Erm, help!

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6 thoughts on “D had a Meltdown

  • Jax Blunt

    I’m not an expert but that doesn’t sound like aspergers. Particularly if meltdowns don’t happen in front of witnesses generally. What does your friend think about it?

  • Julie Roo

    The whole obsessive, highly intelligent bit is what makes me suggest that. I know aspergers is wrong, but some of the things he does is very much “spectrum” behaviour. Sadly I’m not good at explaining so well in words, it’s a “you needed to be there” sort of thing.

    My friend agrees, saying no wonder I had a breakdown and so on. Obviously that’s not just due to this, but it contributed. She said he needs a doctor, something wrong with him. She also seemed to struggle to explain it.

    She heard me talking to Jen… Jen, friend and myself left the room. Was too much. I was saying to Jen “remember when he does this at home, just stay away or d could hurt you. He needs to reset, to calm down. You can’t talk him into calming down. Think of it like when your DS goes wrong, and you reboot it, and it goes back to normal, brother needs to do that in his head again. It’ll be over soon.”
    The friend smiles and thought it was sad I have to warn my youngest to avoid D for safety reasons, but that how I described was spot on.

  • Julie Roo

    I know the switching is not spectrum like, but when he’s actually flipped into the evil persona he does behave similar to an autistic relative. The violent jumpy nature, like “ticks” as Tourettes suffers would call them, very twitchy and fast movements.
    I’ve tried to video this but he will tackle me for the camera! I just feel like if I can work out what it is, then maybe we can work out how to stop this.

    Its so much more than just having a teenage or childish strop, it’s terrifying. I can handle moody sons, not got the toy they wanted, or don’t want to eat vegetables kind of strops both my boys (and every kid I should imagine) has. But the evil thing is on a whole different level.

  • JamJar

    It must be so frustrating that the doctor isn’t listening and it’s disgusting that he suggested you were “crazy and a possible risk”. This has just been published by NICE: http://www.nice.org.uk/nicemedia/live/14116/63310/63310.pdf
    So maybe try again forearmed with all this information and the fact your friend has now witnessed it.
    I’m sorry I’ve had no experience of it but it sounds like a nightmare.
    I hope the medical profession takes you seriously soon.