Depression

One evil job application down…

This entry was posted in Depression Random and tagged fear Tesco wildlife on

It’s taken a few days, but thanks to lots of help from Hubby, for which I owe him “favours”, the Tesco job application is done. I really do need a new job now, I’ve been trying hard to get a more suitable job or career for around 8 months, maybe more. It’s got to a stage where I’ve nothing to look forwards to, as even days off are overshadowed by the dread of going back to work the next day. If I don’t find a job soon I am very tempted to ask my doctors to sicknote me, sign me off for depression. I’ve had depression for years, mostly ignored and untreated. If they give me one of those questionaires about happiness I would fail, when did you last laugh? How often do you cry? Do you have friends? If you don’t know the questionaire consider yourself lucky. X Would […]

What if.. 2

This entry was posted in Depression Random and tagged fear phobia on

My friends got me thinking tonight, “what if” and other deep pondering. Not that this comes over well in what I write, I think at 100 miles an hour, but can only type at 5mph! What if I hadn’t met my OH? What if I’d chatted about whips and chains to a different guy or girl in Yates bar that day? I feel I’ve failed as a mummy if I’m honest….. I love them immensely but should I be a mother? I can’t cook, shite at house work, my toddler is clingy and my eldest is distant, aggressive and bullies me if we are alone. My “doctor” wants me to think back through my past and try to pin down when my fear of bleeding to death and phobia of needles (and anything medical that might end up with needles) started, he asked me for family photos from the age […]