I’m in a relationship that I hate and makes me feel low, but he won’t let me get out of it. I have told him repeatedly how unhappy I am, but he says he loves me so we should be together, but that doesn’t make it any better for me. What does love mean? I don’t even know anymore.. Embed from Getty Images We have only been together for 11 months, but for 6 of those months I have been telling him that I’m unhappy; nothing has changed. The guy I fell in love with, the funny guy who would do anything to make me happy, has been overshadowed by a selfish, manipulative, nasty man who makes me cry more than anyone ever has before. And coming from a girl who has been bullied and raped in the past, that is quite an achievement.
Since the election “Exit Polls” went live, and then the final counted results came in the country came to a bit of a shocked standstill. Almost nobody I know voted Blue, or said they would be voting that way. Yet after the event it seems rather a lot of people did vote Blue. I’m all for choice, but I can’t say it was my choice. View image | gettyimages.com Either way it is decided now, the choice remains for the next five years. Nothing will change who is in power for five years, so we might as well try to embrace the change. I think all parties can get it wrong, but at the end of the day all politicians are real people. Fingers crossed things settle down now as its been a fortnight since the big count. In the first few days all the drama and protesting […]
Well what can I say, today didn’t start off great. I struggled to sleep again last night, and I’ve never been much of a morning person anyway, but this morning I didn’t see or hear my alarms. I have various alarm clocks, all set at slightly different times. First thing I see or hear today, not the alarms, but Blokey in a bad mood demanding I wake up now. He’s one of those people that wake up and *boom* he’s wide awake. I am not like that. I go through stages almost, starting off barely awake, slow and confused, I gradually realise I’m awake, and try to fight sleep, then eventually after about 30 to 40 minutes of being dazed I wake properly and stumble to the loo and brush my teeth. From then I’m ok, awake even if I’m feeling exhausted from good or bad dreams the night before. […]
Katy has been a good virtual pal to me over the last few months, and she’s great. Here is what Katy says…. In 2010, I was diagnosed with schizophrenia after suffering from strange experiences for over three years. It was an earth shattering diagnosis, and despite having ‘company’ from my voices, it was the loneliest time of my life. When I started recovering from the symptoms a year after diagnosis, I wanted to do something to help others. I didn’t have a clue what I could do, but after finding inspiration in a memoir about schizophrenia, I started my own blog, joined Twitter and then did the biggest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I started a magazine. I started Still Here magazine so that people with schizophrenia, psychosis and other mental illnesses could find support, inspiration and most of all, reduce loneliness. It is a one-year long experiment, […]
How I’m feeling… Not great. The kids are pushing me until I want to cry. Work sent me a letter, long words that I believe mean “give us full access to your medical records or we could sack you”. Partner was shouting at me this morning as I was unable to wake again, he’d been trying an hour and apparently I was shouting in my sleep. He said sounded like I was shouting at people in a drunken argument style. When I eventually woke, first thing I saw is partner stood by the bed, angry and in his work suit, nagging me about how he would be late, and its like he’s looking after an extra child. I couldn’t get him to shut up so I went for distraction and just snogged him so he couldn’t keep talking. Then he stopped moaning and made me coffee in bed. Came home […]