Its school sports day for Dee, there are approximately a hundred parents crammed close together on plastic chairs. One side of me I’m being pushed by a fidgety teen holding a toddler – I feel uncomfortable.
The other side, a mum and a nan to a child in Dee’s year. For a while they went on about parents who never come to these kind of things. Well I don’t normally! I used to work, I wouldn’t be allowed a few hours off on a working day like today, I worked in a place that was always single-staffed. Then they continue the rant bringing shift workers in to it…. Thanks! Guess what I used to do shifts. She was saying to the Nan that shift workers should arrange their “split” in the shift around sports days. I’ve never been offered such a choice actually. Workers have to do what the boss says, unless the boss is a parent too, in my experience they will not be sympathetic to “non essential school stuff” like this.
They stop criticism of the working mums, then move on to smart kids. Talking about how their child was smart but didn’t get in to the school they wanted, but they refuse to coach them, and that they seemingly resent the kids that got in to grammar schools. Continuing by saying all the kids that got in to grammar must have bought their way in. Must be rich enough for coaching, and artificially passing the 11+ entrance exam. Oh how I want to butt in!
Actually I’m here ill, struggling to cope, wobbling and my social anxiety is way up high. In fact I’m only coping by zoning out to type in to my phone! I used to work, now I can’t. I used to feel guilty about not doing these things, but felt a little better after thinking “other parents would understand, people have to earn money” but clearly not. How judgemental.
Grammar schools and smart kids. Actually Dee passed the grammar school entry exam without coaching, without rich parents. He passed that flipping 11+ test on the weekend I had the breakdown, when I wanted to die, when I’d said to him his hate for me is the reason I’m a suicidal wreck. The reason I couldn’t cope. The reason I wish I could just die. That weekend my un-coached son, a proper smart kid, passed that exam with extreme stress at home. In fact that morning I’d refused to take him to the exam, as I was meant to. But he got there anyway, and he kicked the tests butt. Purely on intelligence, nothing to do with money. Well except for the box of new HB pencils we bought him for test day, as he wanted new ones!
We did not buy our way in, and we are struggling to afford school kit for starting big school. Please, stop judging me, but most of all, back off from my son. I’m very proud of him, and even more pleased that the school wanted him even if I had made him fail that test in October. His primary have him listed as a genius and had informed the grammers of his intelligence, so the new school he wanted already wanted him. He’s just clever. And I love him!
Makes me wish I had ear plugs in my handbag so I could actually ignore this ranty conversation I’m hearing.
Sod it, I want chocolate and my lad to hug.