Lazy guide to housework 16

I hate cleaning and housework so I’ve figured out ways to cheat over the years, and here are some of my tips.

Bleach spray. No need to scrub the loo or Brillo pad the kitchen sink. Just apply tons of bleach spray and go out. Walk the dog, go to work, go shopping or whatever. Just leave it an hour or more and rinse well on return.

Recycling. Dear Gawd I hate washing out tins and empty jars. Just peel the label and bung them in any available space in the dishwasher. Never touch scraps of Pedigree Chum or Marmite again.

dishwasher (Photo credit: David Locke)

Vacuuming. Buy a bagless vacuum. We have a Dyson. In good weather you can vacuum the bunny hutches and have them clean in no time. As its bagless I just pour the used bedding straight into the compost bin. Despite what the instructions say the rubbish collection bit is washable – goes in the shower then rest it near a radiator or open window.

Minging high chairs. Anything thoroughly rank needs washing. But no need to touch it. Unscrew the shower head, add some strong smelling shower gel such as Original Source and replace head. Dump minging item in shower and pull the curtain shut. Walk away! Have a cuppa or something. When you return the chunks of lunch will be gone. Finish with anti bac spray or wipes if needed.

Muddy shoes. Crocs are popular in this household, but they get awfully muddy walking the woofer in the fields. I machine wash ours. No, really. Bung them in the washer, tiny bit of soap on quick cold wash. Ta dahhh. Clean shoesies.

Lunch bags. Why do these say wipe clean only? The designers have clearly never met kids like my boys. They put a half eaten yogurt, sandwich crusts and an apple core back in their lunch bag and I reckon they shake it and jump on it. I swear when I get it after school its a bio hazard. Step one, frown and look disgusted. Step two, shake bag over an open bin like its radioactive. Step three, shove it in the washing machine on cool with a tiny bit of washing up liquid. Stick them on the draining board to dry as normal.

Bath toys. You know the old bath toys the kids love but have green algae trapped inside? Yeah, those! Put them in the top shelf of an empty dishwasher and run a normal wash. During the drying phase open the machine and squirt any trapped water away into the sink. Close the machine and allow to dry. If not clean enough run a quick wash program afterwards.

Mattresses. Following little accidents from the kids I know it is possible to wet Vax the mattress. Not the whole thing, but the accident patch. Its tricky to lift the Vax onto the bed, and the neighbours look at you funny, so pull the curtains first! When you are done allow the bed as much time as possible to dry, but place a hand/guest towel over the patch before putting the sheet on.

Soft toys and teddies. “Surface wash only”. You are flipping kidding me. Things need washing sometimes, and I am not just going to spread dirt about the surface with a cleaning cloth – and if Teddy goes swimming in a muddy puddle I will drown him in the washing machine. Just tie each toy in a cotton shopping bag and give them a decent length wash. It’s not done often, so make sure it looks and smells better first time. I’d rather the kids have a clean “best teddy”, and if your little one gets upset tell them its a teddy spa day and the teddies enjoy it. It works on my youngest!