making

Child making me feel guilty…

This entry was posted in Depression Illness Kids and tagged failure Jen making on

According to little Jen I’m a bad mother because I said he has to go to school. He has BoyFlu and he’s really playing on it. He’s not even got a temperature just the snot and sniffles. As l mentioned yesterday my bike tyre gave up. So instead of me giving him a lift on this bitter morning we had to walk. Cue twenty mins of this! Screaming like a banshee the entire way. Leaning towards traffic as we walked. He wouldn’t hold my hand, instead I was required to keep a vice like grip on his little hand to keep him safe. Not stopping screaming once not even when he was telling me I’m nasty, mean and a horrid mummy. Why wont he just believe me… School is compulsory. I get to school and his teachers are sickly nice towards him. Almost validating his reasons for a strop. “Come […]

Kaboom – The Breakdown Post 8

This entry was posted in Depression Family Partner Work and tagged Australia broken cold Facebook health kids lonely making mental health rant son stress on

Well, what can I say? I think kaboom is a great word for what’s going on. Last weekend I had a mental breakdown, it had been building for some time to be fair. I’ve been saying “I’m fine” way too much, as I just don’t know how to express how bad I feel. Kaboom… This resulted in me wanting to throw myself from the upstairs window on Saturday night, luckily I suppose, I have phobias, including a fear of heights. This meant I just was shaking uncontrollably instead, crying so much I felt like I was drowning from snot, and all around my eyes hurt like I had been punched in the face. I got up, went to work, struggling lots. Sunday night, same thing, so depressed it hurt. My partner had told me to stop snivelling and attention seeking. I wasn’t attention seeking, I was breaking from the inside. […]

ClaireaBella classic review for ToxicFox

This entry was posted in Reviews Sponsored Posts and tagged cute glitter making on

Hello readers, This week in the post I received a beautiful ClaireaBella bag from ToxicFox.co.uk It is a jute  mini-shopper bag, that has some kind of coating making it feel stronger but you can hardly see it at first. It has a delightful blonde girl painted on to the front, with glitter in the paint of her dress and hair. I like the little details, like the adorable little metal heart that says “HAND MADE WITH LOVE”. Also love the pink bows, normally I’m not a girlie girl, but this is pretty darn cute. The ClaireaBella bags are famous for being personalised, this one is not as it is for review purposes. I would love to get one of these as a pressie, and my first thought was I know loads of young ladies that will want to pinch this from me! I love it!! The only downside I see is […]

Hoorah for all this rain 1

This entry was posted in Garden Seeds Veggies and tagged bulbs cooking flowers freecycle Gramps making trees on

My garden is growing, alas the weeds are doing the best. We have rubbishy heavy clay soil, and despite binning the worst bits and replacing with homemade compost we still struggle to grow much more than dandelions. Each year I plant more bulbs, nothing exciting, daffodils etc. I also have the show drops and crocus bulbs I took from grandads garden after he died 7 years ago, I’ve never bought more of those, I like to know something of Gramps lives on. Every spring I will smile and remember gardening with my Gramps, and it encourages me to get a move on and get things growing. But after all this rain my strawberry plants that were limp and almost dead are now perky and standing up clear of the ground, I even spotted a few flowers on one. I love strawberries, really hope I get a good crop. We start […]

The icing on the cake… 2

This entry was posted in Random Rant Work and tagged cake Depression making mental health on

It’s been a rough couple of months at work, I work in one of those “shop within a shop” places. I can’t name my little company, or the big company whose building I work within. Known from here on in as little and big just so it reads easily and stays fairly anon. The “Us and Them” office politics that big imposes on little is getting worse. Last year I put in such a strong complaint about someone from big that they were dismissed…. as soon as that tyrant was gone, other staff in big seemed more than happy to adopt the Cruella De’ville personality and make everyone else miserable. Now I like little, but since big made us move location within the building we are now painfully quite. My store was above targets, doing well, now its clearly declining. Big are making me very unwelcome, and to be honest […]

Insomnia again

This entry was posted in Insomnia Sleep and tagged kids making murder on

Writen at 2am, Why am I awake when I’ve got to be up for work in the morning? The last few weeks have been much worse for my sleep problem. The problem is I’m stuck in a feedback loop situation, perpetually tired! I can’t sleep, awake until 2 or 3am then meant to be up at 7 to 7.30 ish each day to get the kids washed, dressed and fed. What really happens is I struggle, try to keep my eyes open, then fail miserably…. wake up half an hour or more later and do everything in a blind panic. I’ve got good at putting on foundation as I cycle one-handed, but that’s not a good thing to admit really! Right now as I type into my phone my partner, although I should say fiance, is fast asleep making a hideous amount of noise…. I’m tempted to record and you […]

Christmas shopping, skint style

This entry was posted in Christmas and tagged boys Christmas EVERY Family kids making shopping style tax Tesco on

Well we are off out, but we are paying in nectar points, gift cards, and Tesco clubcard double up points vouchers. Also been buying things on paypal funds which I’ve “earned” via quidco and online surveys. November wasn’t a good month, I was on holiday (which was fabulous but killed us in childcare), then I lost a few days sick, then tax credits sent us a £2k demand, sorry “invoice” due to them making mistakes EVERY year since my kids were born, and us duely informing them everytime. Family, be warned, you’re all getting 3for2 offer smellies from the nectar points, please fake a smile when you open them!

Ok, so I’m not much of a blogger but

This entry was posted in Florida Wins and tagged blogger children competitions driving making stress travel Wales on

Now that I’m getting the hang of blogging, mainly by stalking twitter friends blogs I am getting more confident at this. I thought I’d have a little waffle, if this is OK with you guys? As you might know, as I hobby I comp. For those of you that don’t know “comp” or “comping” is entering competitions as a hobby, for profit, for the thrill or just because you’ve nowt better to do… which is how my addiction to comping started incidentally. In Feb 2011 we had a phone call from first news (children’s newspaper) about a competition my eldest had entered. It was quite a shock, and cried, was shaking, the LOT. He had won us a weeks holiday to Universal theme parks in Florida!! Gobsmacked and shell shocked didn’t begin to cover it. I was assured I would hear from Universal within a week, and that’s where the stress […]